wow me

this is honestly surreal

we should make fun of americans more. why dont their shops include tax in the price tag. like how much does this item cost? its a surprise :)

Honestly, tea. I’ve lived here my whole life and I have never once known what my total is gonna be at the register. Total fucking mystery.

im an ex-american living in new zealand for the past two years and it still never fails to blow my mind that i can take a $2 coin, walk up to a counter with two $1 items, and perform the expected transaction

this callout is completely deserved

please for the love of god find me the original uh oh yall its gettin kind of hazy tweet 

tumblr dont sleep on letterkenny

Honest to god I can’t understand anything any of them say.

It’s two gay guys using hockey terms to catcall the two presumably straight hockey players (riley and jonesy) who then counter by being comfortable enough to accept the compliments. The conversation then continues along to describe different words and terms for a variety of queer folk as if said words were also hockey players. So when they say a word got cut it’s merely a euphanism for people agreeing not to use that term. The whole scene is two (presumably straight) men being educated gently on the subject by two gay men and listening rather than bickering.

this dialogue is like something out of a greek drama it’s both downright melodic and utterly incomprehensible

What?

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tumblr i am literally begging you to let me reblog your shitpost ads

Friday morning: thank god it’s flex on my haters and ride day

Friday night: (after a long day of flexing and being hated) I feel so alone

British food look like this

Excuse me.

Okay.. alright..

British food does not look like that.

That is British food:

This is British food:

Sunday dinner looks amazing right?

This is also British food:

So what cheek do you have at commenting that British food is basically shit. And yes I’m British and we don’t all drink tea and speak posh oh no. That’s due to the area you live in.

Oxfordshire=posh

London= cockney

Midlands= northern

Welsh= north

And Scotland northern

And the food depends on what area you get your food from different areas have different ideas on food such as Scotland haggis and deep fried Mars bars.

So just don’t Diss British food, you’ve probably never tried it.

*goes to a restaurant in Liverpool*

me: Yes ma'am I’d like to order the Jellied Ox Taint

waitress: Oi cummin roight op govna

u know ur food is trash when u call deep fried candy bar “"cuisine”“

The way John Mulaney speaks is the vocalized version of When You Capitalise Every Word Like This

You’re Not Wrong

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently… I have new ideas

god I wish I was decomposing in the mountains